If you suffer from low self-confidence, you might be stuck in some defeatist mindsets that are affecting the way you think about yourself and, ultimately, your self-esteem.
Defeatist mindsets tend to have a lot of "always" or "never" talk, creating a sense of entrapment and hopelessness. Here are some examples of defeatist mindsets that can lead to low confidence.
"I will never get it right."
Thinking this way can keep you from trying again, or even trying something for the first time. It makes it only too easy to give up.
"Nobody understands what this is like."
When you lack self-confidence, a lot of times you assume that everyone else has it together and you're the odd man or woman out. You may feel isolated and feel as if others have their lives together while you are still floundering.
"I am totally useless."
When you lack confidence, you may feel like you don't have anything of value to contribute, whether it's to your workplace, relationships, or something else.
"I am a complete failure."
No one fails at every single thing; but to a person with low self-confidence, it can sure seem that way. You may feel like everything you've ever tried has failed, even if this is not true.
"I could never do that."
Do you see someone with a successful lifestyle you wish you had? If you lack self-confidence, you may have the above reaction. Instead of being inspired and wanting to create that lifestyle for yourself, you look at that person and get depressed, thinking you could never have what they have.
How Can These Mindsets Be Overcome?
In order to overcome these destructive mindsets that lead to low confidence, it's necessary to become aware of your thought processes. You will need to pay attention to your negative self-talk and immediately change it to something generative.
So, you’ve got to find out what these destructive mindsets that lead to low confidence are before you can change them. You’ve got to see how your mindset is creating what’s showing up in your life. If you do that, you can change anything. Awareness will change it.
To truly expand your self-esteem and confidence you have to be willing to be or do something different.
When you’re willing to be and do different, you create and generate different possibilities. If you’re not willing to be or do different, then you keep trying to force yourself to change your thinking. You would keep trying to do what everybody has told you that you should do to get a result that’s different than the result you’re getting. Is that going to work? Not at all.
For example, instead of "I will never get it right," you could stop that thought in its tracks and be the question instead, "what if it were OK to never have to get it right? what if it's OK to totally fail? What if even that were totally OK?" Then, would you have to judge yourself for your ability? Nope. But would you still make the choice if you didn't have any judgment of you? What would it be like to no longer judge you?
Rather than think, "I could never do that," think and be the question, "I would love to do that! ... What do I have to be or do to have that or do that? What would it take?"
With your self-confidence, instead of trying to force yourself to change your thinking and point of view to create a result, you might like to ask: “What do I have to be or do today to expand my confidence right away?”
Making a choice to expand your self-confidence
Choice is what creates different possibilities. You can change anything if you choose, but you have to choose to change it.
You have to ask a question to reveal an awareness of choices. Start being the questions “What can I change here? ..... What choices do I have that could change this?” then ask another question like “What else is possible?”
As soon as you make a choice to expand your confidence, the energy to create that choice as reality shows up. Making the choice to change your mindset instantly changes everything that didn’t allow it to change before. Simultaneously it opens the door to different possibilities for you.
When you choose, it also creates you being able to see things in a totally different way than you could before making that choice.